Sunday, January 22, 2012

The end of one journey, and the beginning of another...

Daddy's journey ended yesterday at 5:10pm.

I was standing by his side when he went, with Scott holding me up, by my side. I wish I could say it was peaceful, but it really wasn't. I can't go there right now, but his fight is over, and that is all that matters.

I had already called the nurse from Hospice, and she was on her way. When she got there, she checked him, called the coroner, and the funeral home, and began the process of getting him ready for them. She was wonderful in the way she took care of him, cleaned him up, redressed him, and covered him up, so it was like he was sleeping. Thank heavens for her. I couldn't have done that. She destroyed all of his medicine, which I had not thought of. She was wonderful.

The funeral home came, and got the information they needed from me, and took him away. I had to leave the room for that. I couldn't watch them take him away. We go today at 3 to make the arrangements.

We finally made it home at around 9. I was so glad to finally be home. I slept in my own bed, with my wonderful husband, which was such a pleasure.

I am so exhausted it is not even funny. I am bruised all over, from moving him around these last few days. I hurt all over, from moving him around and lifting him. My brain feels like it is covered in fuzz.

Now, we begin the journey of making arrangements, getting the paperwork done, and whatever else we have to do to finish the original journey that we have been on the last three years.

I can only hope, that I did what I was supposed to do, in the way I was supposed to do it. I feel like I did right. I feel like I did everything I could for him. I had the fortitude to see it through to the very end, which I wasn't sure I had. I had the support of all of my family and friends to hold me up, listen to my complaints, support me through each step, and just to love me.

Rest in peace, Daddy.


  1. Oh Julie I really wish I was there to give you a hug. I know your pain right now and I also understand your probally kinda numb at the same time.
    How wonderful to have such a wonderful supportive husband thru all of this.

    1. I know you understand! I am numb. I am completely out of sorts, and really don't know what to do with myself. Thank you, sweetie, for being such a great friend! xoxo

  2. I wish I could also be there to give you a much needed hug. Be gentle with yourself Julie . You did everything you were supposed to do. Keeping blessed thoughts for you and your family . (((hugs))) and Kisses Diana