One of the toughest decisions....

One of the hardest things, so far, in this journey has been the slow deterioration of my Daddy's mental state. It is one thing to go from a vibrant, physical, man, to a man living with an illness. It is another to watch somebody who I have always admired, learned from, and talked about everything with, lose the mental faculties to make easy decisions.

In the last 4 months (I discovered in December), Daddy has spent $4,000.00 on knives. I do not mean cutlery knives, but collectible (so he says) and military knives. This has been extremely disturbing... for a variety of reasons.

The obvious first reason is money. He is not poor, but he is not wealthy either. He gets his social security, and pension from 3M, and that is what he lives on. To spend that amount of money on knives, is totally beyond my comprehension.

The second reason, is because he is unsteady on his feet, and walks around, taking these knives from one room to another to sharpen them or whatever he does with them.

The third reason goes along with the money. I discovered today, that he has multiples of the same knives. He actually has 5 of the exact same knife, along with multiples of others, as well. If he was in his right mind, he wouldn't buy multiples of the same knife. He actually seemed surprised that he had more than one of the same knife.

So I talked to the social worker about invoking my Power of Attorney. I would have to get 2 different doctors to declare he is incompetent. Which he probably is not, according to the social worker, and I tend to agree with her.

So this leaves the question... what do I do? My name is on everything he has, including his bank accounts. I have talked and talked to him, about not doing this. We may need his money to pay for future care such as nurses and the like. He promises and promises not to buy another knife again. He keeps that promise for about 2 days.

Do I cancel his credit card? Do I move his money to an account in my name only, and just pay his bills from that? I have pretty much decided, that it is his money, and he can do what he wants to with it. If he runs out, and needs around the clock care, there will be no alternative but to put him somewhere, where he can get that care.

That has been the toughest decision I have had to make so far, in this journey. But, I think I have made the right one. He is not technically incompetent, so what right do I have to tell him what to do or not to do with his money? I have no right to do so.