Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Feelings...

I am finding the reactions of people to me, since Daddy passed, quite interesting.

There has been outpouring of love and affection from some, avoidance from some, and some who act like nothing has changed. I am sure, a lot of people don't know what to say. They understand that I have to work through this on my own. There are those who just talk about themselves and have yet to ask how I am doing. What the deal is with that, I am not quite sure. I have to say again, you find out who your true friends are during times of trial and crisis.

One of the things that gets the hairs on the back of my neck standing up, is those people who say "But, Julie.. he is in a better place now". I understand why they say that and what they mean. But, I want my Daddy and my Momma back here with me, the way they used to be. I want them happy, healthy, and more than anything... HERE with me. I know in my heart, I am truly glad they are not suffering any longer. Daddy suffered more, than I will ever be able to adequately make somebody understand, unless they were standing there, watching with me. I know they mean well, and I am doing my best not to punch them in they eye.. so far, so good on the punching in the eye.

I am relieved that the suffering is over. I fully intend on taking advantage of the grief counseling that will be made available to me, by hospice. They will help me sort through the emotions that I am having on an almost hourly basis. I have had so many people suggest that grief counseling is the way to go, and I am thankful for that. It reinforces my need and desire to go through that process.

I have also decided, if somebody I know, loses a loved one, I am never going to say "they are in a better place". Although it may be true, it is not what the person grieving, wants to hear. Well, at least it is not what I want to hear....

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