Friday, January 13, 2012

Funny how the best laid plans...

Funny, how the best laid plans, never seem to come together. After another sleepless night, and discussions with Scott, we have decided that I will move in with Daddy, instead of the other way around. The following is what I put on FB this morning....

"OK.. here is the deal. I was busy and could not elaborate at the time. It is not fair to Brandon to bring somebody who is dying, into our home like this. Daddy's room would be right by Brandons room, they would have to share the bathroom. And, right now, Daddys bathroom habits are a mess.
Another reason is Scott works at night. He sleeps during the day. We would have nurses, aides, whoever, in and out of the house at all times of the day. That is not fair to Scott.
My goal has been and it will not change.... to keep him out of a nursing home, and at home. If it takes me moving in here to do so, then it will be done. Hospice will still be coming by. 
I can't keep going from house to house. That is too much on me. But, if I stay here at his house, it will be easier. Scott and Brandon can figure out what to do at home. They are both capable of taking care of themselves. We would rather do it this way, that cause Brandon any lasting, lingering affects, from the death of my Daddy."

Let me make something very clear. I am not the greatest daughter in the world. I am trying to keep everybody happy, and on an even keel. No easy task with a child, a husband and a dying Daddy. Daddy does not want to be in a nursing home. That is a simple request. I will do my best to make that happen for him. That doesn't make me a great daughter. That makes me a daughter trying to honor her Daddy's wishes. I am not special in any way. I am a human being, with feelings, thoughts, hopes and dreams, just like everybody else in this world. Am I exhausted, yes! Am I overwhelmed, a resounding yes! But, if I can do this for him, and keep my family together at the same time, then I have accomplished my goal. 

My son, who I am not ashamed to say is spoiled ass rotten, can maybe learn some responsibility because of this. At 14 years of age, he can do for himself. My husband is spoiled as well. They can take care of themselves, while my Daddy has nobody but me to take care of him. I can do this. My family can do this. Maybe everybody will learn something along the way.

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