Getting closer...

Well, I am pretty sure we don't have much longer on this journey Daddy and I have been on together. I think maybe a week or two at the most.

He has eaten nothing but maybe 1 cookie between yesterday and today at lunchtime. He is drinking a little bit, but not much. He has been awake, possibly 3-4 hours total yesterday and today so far. He is not really coherent during that time, either. As of today, I believe he is not going to be able to leave the bed anymore. His legs wouldn't really walk this morning. We had to beg, borrow and plead to get him to get up from his chair, and go back to the bed. Although, he is a stubborn one, he is about done with this fight.

I hope we can get this pain under control. Watching him twitch and moan, grimace, and kick his feet, while he tries to rest, is heart breaking. I am one who always like to fix things for everybody. This I can not fix, and that is so hard for me.

Last night, I slept again, with one eye open. He bolts upright, like he is going to go somewhere, but then falls back down onto the bed. That is a little freaky. He also has to try to go to the bathroom. I have been helping him get up and go to the bathroom, because I think it is good for him to be as mobile as possible. Now, however, is the time, to keep him in the bed... for his safety as well as mine. I am a very small person, and not what you would call strong. I have already hurt my back, and my right shoulder helping him on and off the potty. This is the time for him to go in the diaper or if he can manage, the bedside potty. But, I think even the bedside potty, may be to much for him.

I am also having trouble getting him awake, and coherent enough to get his meds down. He barely got them down this morning. That worries me numerous reasons. The main one, being that he takes Morphine tablets, to ease his respiration's and also to help the pain. I have been giving him the Morphine liquid by mouth, but it does not seem to be doing any good. The nurse is coming by this afternoon and she will be able to help me with that.

We did find a cool solution for him to be able to hold his Ginger Ale. The volunteer who comes by and see's Daddy, suggested a child's sippy cup. We found one with a straw. That works perfectly for somebody as weak and shaky as he is. YAY for the small victories!

The aide was by this morning, and showed me a bunch of tricks for getting the diaper on and off somebody who is bedridden. I just don't now this stuff. So now, I feel a little more confident about what and how to do things for him.

The social worker is also coming by this afternoon. She is a wealth of information, about everything! Which I need.

For some reason, the simple things are not occurring to me. Probably lack of sleep, and stress. But, it is looking like we are close to the end of this journey, and for that I will be grateful for Daddy's sake and my sake as well.